Why Does Divorce Hurt So Much?

Why Does Divorce Hurt So Much?

I have asked myself this question so many times…and I have finally come up with the reason why it’s so painful.  I am not sure why it took me so long to figure this out…but it did.

Getting married only to follow it with a divorce is the WORST thing that ever happened in my life, so far.  I would not wish it on anyone.  It’s just….horrible. Ultimately, the conclusion that I reached was this: divorce is not something that was ever intended for humans, even though it happens every, single day…

Divorce hurts because it should not be…

Why Does Divorce Hurt So Much - 1

Marriage was designed for the satisfaction and love of both partners, but the challenge comes in when two people don’t know (or don’t want to know) what to do to grow together.  It’s tough to learn to be selfless and to serve another human being all the days of your life…

…but that’s EXACTLY why marriage was designed…to burn out the selfishness in us and to give us the satisfaction or exploring all of life’s fun and not-so-fun parts, together.

Why does divorce hurt so much when it happens?  Well…because it’s not supposed to be there in the first place.  That’s why.

I get it that there are ALWAYS extentuating circumstances like adultery, molestation, and violence, but even those should not be.  That’s the point I am trying to make.

While horrible things DO happen, it’s not that those things are good things.  They happen because people are imperfect and flawed…and that’s just how life is.

If people were all mature and considerate, good and faithful, divorce would not happen.

Divorce was never God’s design.

Healing From The Pain Of A Failed Marriage Is Not An Easy Thing, But It Can Happen If You Allow Time To Have It’S Perfect Work In Your Life…

Why Does Divorce Hurt So Much - 2Let me say that I am in no way any kind of expert on the subject of either divorce or marriage.  What I am is a woman who has been there and somehow has come out on the other side – mostly unscathed.

I don’t actually know HOW I made it through what was definitely the darkest period of my life, but I did.  

Time helped.

Having an awesome church family and a strong faith in the Lord helped.

Having my daughter to love on and make sure SHE was okay helped a lot because I could not focus on myself as much as I wanted to.  I most certainly had some bad days, but not as many as I would have had if I’d been completely alone in life.

Being a parent helped a whole lot!

Last but not least, what helped me was having something to fall back on that I loved.  I love to write and to create video and social marketing content.  That was a great distraction for me when times got hard, and it’s never a bad thing to fall back on creativity when times are hard.

It’s better than drugs, alcohol, or illicit sex for the sake of filling a void.  

I’ve had over a year to get my heart back on track and to focus on what matters most in life – my purpose in the Lord and loving others the way that I want to BE loved.

Divorce Hurts So Much Because People Were Made To Love And To Be Loved

When a marriage falls apart, your foundation is ripped from underneath you.  In the end, there’sWhy Does Divorce Hurt So Much - 3 no real way to go back and fix anything. 

Whatever happens in life from the point of divorce and going forward becomes what many have called “the new normal.”

It’s still kind of ABNORMAL…but it’s the hand you (and I) have been dealt…

…and you either learn how to thrive in it, or you wither and remain stuck in regret and pain for the rest of your life.

I choose not to stay stuck in sadness and regret, even if my husband left and decided to find his joy in the arms of another.

I choose to find joy in every day and wish him and his wife God’s very best.

I am finally okay ….well, not “okay”…with it.  I guess I should say that I have made my peace with it, and I am moving on with my life by the grace of God.

My prayer is that you learn how to do the same thing, too.

Divorce does, indeed hurt.  A lot.  It’s like a death has happened in your family…but you DO learn to live again, once it has ended and it’s legally finalized.

I have.

You can, too.

I pray that this blog has been an encouragement to you.

If you like, you can keep up with me, privately, here….

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