Find Your Dream Job And Yourself At The Same Time – After A Divorce, Part 1

Finding Your Dream Job Seems To Be Much Like Finding A Unicorn

The purpose of this blog is to encourage you – and me.

If you are anything like me, you know that life is made of more than going to get a job and eventually getting old.  The truth is…most of us want to work from home and have a life of freedom…

…but the problem with that is that we rarely realize how such a life actually looks.

On the one hand, we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives tied to a job that is not connected to our real life’s work, and yet we cannot imagine being WITHOUT a job because we need the income.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Please don’t misunderstand me.

A job is a blessing, for sure, if you have one.  There are way, too many people without any income at all, and I have no intention of job bashing.

What I am writing about is freedom.

The average adult wants to know that, at some point, they will have the freedom to live life according to their own terms.

So…What Is The Purpose Of This Blog?

The goal of this blog is not to put up sales links in my articles.  The goal of this blog is to show people that they can come out of nowhere as a blogger and build relationships of value and – eventually – create income out of writing well.

The goal of this blog is to encourage others to simply go after their dreams.

See…I have been reading Outwitting the Devil by the late Napoleon Hill, and it is clear to me that I have been avoiding my passions and talents.  It is clear that I have, in no way, been living by faith.

Instead, I have been living in abject fear.

I would LOVE for my work life to be one where I wake up each day, excited for whatever is about to happen and ready to inspire someone.  I would LOVE to not worry about money, and I’d love to live an existence of inspiration.

Others have done it!

Why can’t I?

For that matter, why can’t you??

My fear has existed for lots of reasons, and my main reason is that, like Napoleon Hill, I have suffered from feeling shame.

Let Me Tell You A Little Story About My Life, Just For Background…

Last year, I went through a divorce.

I understand that a lot of people go through divorces and survive them every, single day…at least on the outside.

Trust me; I get that.

The thing is…I never expected that I would get divorced.  I don’t think that any person who gets married thinks that their marriage will end in divorce.  Normal people marry in order to REMAIN married, even though we know that the statistics are against us.

Somehow, I thought that love and forgiveness would rule the day, ultimately.

What happened, however, was very different from what I expected and hoped for for my family.

He filed for divorce in April of 2013.  It is now June of 2014, and he is already remarried.

I am not sure why it hurt me so much when I knew that that is where he was headed, but it did.  Even today, it still stings a bit…

…and maybe I do know the reason why.

You see…I placed so much trust in him that, no matter what, he would ultimately do what was pleasing to God.  I sincerely believed that because it’s what he had always done, previously.

To be fair, we both did a lot that was wrong.  We didn’t relate to one another the way that we should have, and we both needed lots of relational growth in some areas…

…but I sincerely thought that we would work it through, together…as had other couples who have successfully navigated marital challenges before us.

Ours was not the best marriage, but it certainly wasn’t the worst.  I know lots of people with stories worse than ours…and they are still married to this day.

How I Got To Be So Naive, I Will Never Understand…

In the beginning of the divorce process, I somehow thought that things would work out, and our marriage could be saved.  I thought that Jesus would come down to restore us to one another.  I just BELIEVED that forgiveness and mercy would trump broken hearts.

As the months wore on, it was clear that that was not going to happen. I kind of went into a state of shock at that point.  I felt so ashamed of myself for having “lost” my husband.  I failed to remember for a long time that he was making a decision to leave.

My shame was incredible.

I felt like the worst woman who had ever existed, unsure of where my journey was going to take me.

On top of the shame of having been the one who was left in the divorce, I suddenly found myself going through additional shame of having believed that everything would be restored and our family would somehow, miraculously remain intact.

On top of me feeling ashamed of feeling naive about how the divorce filing would end, I felt even greater shame about showing up for church, alone.  It was devastating to show up each week, knowing that my family was broken.  I felt like it was 100% my fault and that I should have done more to save my marriage.

Once more, I forgot basic truths…that t takes TWO people to want a marriage.

No matter how much I wanted it, he had to want me and want to forgive and to restore as much as I wanted to do the same for him.

That, unfortunately, did not happen.

I just wanted to disappear from the world.  I wanted the superpower of being able to blink my eyes so that no one could see me until I felt like I could deal with the pain.

Of course, that did not happen, either.

What happened is that I had to walk out my misery, step-by-step, until it did not hurt so much, anymore.

The incredible thing about this whole process is that it has helped me to clarify what I really want out of life…and I actually don’t want that much in the great scheme of things.

What I Really Want Is What I Think Most People Want

First of all, I want to live a life that I can be proud of, personally and spiritually.  I want to know that, when I die, I can face God with integrity and say that I did the very best I could with what I was given.

I think that a deep-down soul satisfaction is what we all seek, and I think it’s the only thing that can make us happy in this life.

The second thing that I want to is to give my daughter the best life that she can possibly have.  Being a mother is my life’s calling.  My daughter was and is God’s greatest gift to me outside of salvation.

To give her opportunities, to make sure that she knows beyond the shadow of doubt that she is loved, and to provide her with a firm foundation for life is what I want to do.

To that end, I am choosing to blog here, now.

My Dream Job Is To Write In Such A Way That I Encourage Others To Live Their Best Lives!

I write well, but I’ve never given my writing a real shot.  I have lived in such massive fear that it makes no sense, whatsoever.

The truth is that, while I think that writing here is a great idea, I have also been terrified of doing it in the past.

Ultimately, as each day goes by, it’s starting to occur to me more and more how short life is.  I am truly most passionate about inspiring others  to be the best at whatever it is that they do well in life.  I intend to start doing that, here.

What’s funny is that I have my own blog, already.

I just don’t want to write there, now.  I might not ever go back to it, if I am really fair.  This pseudo-anonymity is kind of nice.

Here Is My Only Challenge With Blogging

Consistency is a big, big, BIG challenge for me.  I know that we are complete strangers, but if you care in the dream of freedom that we all have, please encourage me to come back here and to keep writing.

Know that I am not making this YOUR job to encourage me.  That’s 100% MY job.  Still…every, bit of encouragement helps

I believe in my heart that the things that I have learned in life have the ability to help at least one, other person; however, if I never use my talents, I will never know whether or not this is true.

With all of this written, welcome to my blog.  Blogging and motherhood are both my dream jobs.  I intend to start acting like it, and I pray that I can help someone along the way.

I look forward to seeing you again, tomorrow!

If you would like to get to know me better, please feel free to sign up for my newsletter, here…

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